How I Work

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Sometimes people wonder what actually happens in counselling.

For me, it’s quite simple.

We meet regularly, and for that time, you have my full attention.

There’s no agenda you have to follow, no pressure to say the “right” thing. You can bring whatever is on your mind — even if it feels unclear, messy, or hard to put into words.

I listen carefully. Not just to what you say, but also to what might sit underneath it.

Together, we begin to understand what’s been weighing on you, and why. From there, things can start to shift — at your pace, in a way that feels right for you.

Many people come to counselling worried they’ll be judged, or that they won’t know what to say.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need a place where you can begin.

If that sounds like something you’re looking for, you’re welcome to get in touch.

Royal Air Force apologises to LGBTQ Veterans.

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Back in September 24, I attended a Ceremony at Royal Air Force Cranwell. On the day I was personally apologised to by a very high ranking Officer. I was also presented with a letter of apology from the prime minister and the Chief of air staff and Lord Etherton. Significantly I also received a replacement Beret and Cap Badge and an Etherton Ribbon.


During the proceedings it became very obvious that, not only had the RAF taken on board the importance of Diversity,Equality and inclusion, It was holding up a beacon on how it should be done.

The ceremony and the presentations have gone a long way to making me feel better about myself and my identity.

There’s a lovely article published by the RAF https://www.raf.mod.uk/news/articles/raf-hosts-restorative-action-ceremony-for-lgbt-veterans/

Supporting Transgender Individuals and LGBTQ+ Identities

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As a transgender individual, I am deeply committed to supporting all aspects of LGBTQ+ identities, with awareness of the intersections of gender identity and kink. My work in this field has highlighted the importance of understanding the unique experiences of transgender people, including the prevalence of neurodiversity within this community. It is essential to recognize that many transgender individuals also identify as neurodivergent, which can impact their experiences and needs.

My experience spans a diverse range of transgender identities, including:

  • Trans youth
  • Trans women
  • Trans men
  • Non-binary individuals
  • Gender-fluid people

Through my work, I’ve had the privilege of supporting individuals at various stages of their gender journeys. This support includes providing a safe and affirming environment for trans youth as they navigate their identities and face societal challenges. For trans women, I focus on empowering them in the face of gender-based discrimination and stigma. With trans men, I emphasize the importance of embracing their authentic selves while addressing the barriers they may encounter. Additionally, I work with non-binary and gender-fluid individuals, helping them express their identities in a world that often seeks to categorize binary gender norms.

Importantly, I also engage with families, partners, and relatives of transgender individuals. Supporting those close to the trans community is crucial for fostering understanding and acceptance within families, which can lead to healthier and more supportive environments for transgender individuals. Providing education and resources to loved ones not only helps them understand the challenges faced by transgender people but also equips them to be allies in their loved ones’ journeys.

In addition to direct support, I offer transgender awareness training tailored to businesses, charities, colleges, and individuals. These training sessions are designed to educate participants about the complexities of gender identity, the specific needs of transgender individuals, and best practices for creating inclusive environments. Understanding terminology, recognizing biases, and learning how to provide respectful support are critical components of this training.

By raising awareness and fostering understanding, we can create spaces where everyone feels respected and valued. Businesses that actively engage in this training often see improved workplace culture, enhanced employee satisfaction, and increased customer loyalty. Similarly, educational institutions benefit from fostering environments where all students feel safe and supported.

In conclusion, my commitment to supporting transgender individuals and the broader LGBTQ+ community is rooted in my lived experience and professional expertise. By engaging with diverse identities, understanding the impact of neurodiversity, and providing education and awareness, we can collectively work towards a more inclusive society. Whether through direct support or training and education, I strive to empower transgender individuals and those who love them, ensuring they navigate their journeys with dignity and respect.

Trans survival in the current climate

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With our cousins in America once again voting in Donald Trump and our own government struggling to make contentious decisions, it is becoming increasingly difficult for transgender people of all backgrounds to stay out of the political “noise.” From my work with transgender individuals, it is clear that the current discourse is negatively affecting the mental health of the community. If it’s not the “most powerful man in the world” spouting anti-trans rhetoric, then the media often amplifies statements by figures like J.K. Rowling. But what is this all about?

In my opinion, it’s simple: divide and conquer. The wealthy and powerful know that if they can make the general populace fearful of something—real or imagined—they can act with impunity, furthering their own agendas. How can a trans person be expected to live under these conditions? Unfortunately, in the U.S., trans people are increasingly being singled out as social pariahs, and it doesn’t seem far-fetched to imagine them seeking political asylum in the near future. For UK residents, the situation is somewhat brighter. Although the media perpetuates a lot of rhetoric, the general public doesn’t seem to have strong opinions on transgender issues. Most people are too absorbed in their own lives to be concerned with how someone presents or what their pronouns are. The biggest challenge here is a lack of understanding.

I recently had an experience that highlighted this difference. On a night out with my cisgender girlfriend, we went dancing at the Fleece and Firkin in Bristol, where the theme for the evening was 80’s music—definitely not a “Trans” event. Among the crowd, there were around 8 to 10 trans women, ranging in age from their 30s to 70s. What stood out most to me that night was how we were treated: we were simply people out for a good time. We didn’t attract special attention, there were no hateful comments, no unwanted stares, no pushing or jostling. In fact, one of the most striking things was the absence of any remarks about how brave or courageous we were. It was just… ordinary.

A big thank you to the residents of Bristol for making us feel accepted and encouraging trans people to live their lives without unnecessary interference.

Bristol Pride

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Yesterday I had the delight of attending the Bristol Pride March. I was there as a representative of Bristol Mind, and guests of the Avon fire service.

Although the weather wasn’t as kind as it could have been the parade was much as you would expect for a Pride March. Lots of colour, lots of noise and lots and lots of people claiming their right to walk freely through the streets of Bristol.

I had the delight of being interviewed by BBC Radio Bristol and my comments were shown on their social media, so that was fun.

I always enjoy pride events, and this was no exception. The difference with this one was that as guests of the fire service, we were positioned at the start of the parade but (for some fire service reason) didn’t join the parade until the end! The delight of this was that I got to observe the whole parade from a terrific vantage point. I noticed that I was getting a very strong emotional reaction to the messages and banners of support directed at the trans community.
What I realised is, that the discourse in the main stream media and social media has been very anti trans for a couple of years now. BUT……In the real world the voices of support are much more common. The nasties are noisy, and that hurts, but the love is there. And I really felt it yesterday.

Update…….

I have just found this on the BBC’s social media. Features me! Twice!

https://fb.watch/lKEGgzHwBs/

Welcome to our new website.

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Please be patient as we fill our site with useful information.

Our hope is to provide an unrivalled service to the transgender community. Our counsellors are all invested in the wellbeing of transgender people. Robert, our lead counsellor describes himself as gender non conforming. Kay, our associate counsellor, has a strong relationship with trans person and has also supported friends and clients through their coming out, and really takes her time to understand their thoughts and feelings.

What we provide is a safe confidential space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings. we do this through weekly therapy, which can be online, on the phone or in person. All of our therapists are bound by the strong ethical code laid down by the British Association of Counsellors an Psychotherapists. www.bacp.co.uk